Fear, "Self-Doubt" And Meeting Women

***QUESTION***

Hey Dave,

I've really benefited from all your techniques. I
am a college freshman, and i hadn't been having too
many dates. I heard about your program over winter
break, but being away from school i didnt have the
opportunity to use your techniques. but, i got back
a few days ago, and started meeting people on the
internet. i've already had one REALLY great date with
a gorgeous older woman. unlike before, a lot more
women seem really eager to talk to me, and to drive
really long distance to come meet me. even the girls
at college are responding. two nights ago, i had a
girl spend the night with me. as everyone gets back
to school, im sure i'll have even more success.

my question is.......i met a lot of really cute girls
over the past few months. but, becuase i was doing
things the OLD WAY, i didnt have too much success
with them. is there any way i can attract them now,
or do i just have to give up on them and start afresh?

thanks once again.

I M


>>>MY COMMENTS:

First of all, congratulations on getting out there
and making things happen for yourself.

To address your question, I'm going to start with
a little home-brewed Quack Psych Analysis...

I've noticed a pattern with guys that is VERY interesting
to me: If a guy meets a girl and feels attracted to
her, but doesn't have success taking things to a "romantic
level", he will tend to think about that woman and
how to "try again" to get her attention, EVEN WHEN
IT DOESN'T MAKE ANY SENSE AT ALL, AND THERE ARE MANY
OTHER OPPORTUNITIES AROUND HIM.

I think that this is probably some kind of survival
mechanism gone wrong. But whatever it is, it's a PAIN
IN THE ASS if you ask me.

In about 98% of cases, it's MUCH better to just get
on with your life and meet new women than it is to
try and go back to women you've met in the past (who,
for one reason or another don't feel ATTRACTION for
you), and try to get them to come around.

Move on.

You're having so much success right now.

All you're going to do is waste time and make things
difficult for you AND these other women if you try
to go back and get them to feel attracted to you.

Of course, if these women are a group of rich European
models who love to buy you things, let you control
the remote, and have no interest in cuddling after
sex, then forget everything I've said, and instead
devote the rest of your life to changing their minds.




***QUESTION***

David,

After reading a couple of your newsletters, I recognised
I had a problem or three! and decided to get this
area of my life sorted (I was previously a WUSS),
purchased your e-book and then graduated to the CD
series. That decision has turned my life around. I
am tall, tanned and toned (after many hours in the
gym) with a great job yet had problems with attracting
and retaining women. This problem is now history,
thanks to your materials. They are certainly worth
every cent (even if you are from Oz and paying 2 for
1)!

I am not having any problems using the 3 minute routine
to set up meetings. Also no probs with the women feeling
attraction for me. The problem is that now I have
been out with so many different women, I have options,
I am finding I now have a very specific idea of what
I want, which means the vast majority I tee up I do
not want to see again after the first meeting, as
they get extremely clingy over me, are not confident
or ambitious or have emotional baggage etc. I have
tried targeting specific places and activities where
these girls I would like to meet are likely to be,
without lifting the percentage of ones I want to meet
for a second or third time.

The question is, How can the three minute routine
be adapted with similar success rates to narrow the
field i.e. rule out those with unattractive qualities
which are hard to detect in 3 minutes, prior to the
first meeting? I know most guys would probably love
to have this problem but I am sure your answer will
help me and many others including the new students
who will soon not have enough hours in a week to meet
all the women if they purchase the advanced series
and follow your advice.

Keep up the great work,
GH
Australia


>>>MY COMMENTS:

You know, I get emails like yours a LOT.

Two comments:

First, it's always a good reminder when a guy like
you who is physically very attractive reveals to the
rest of the world that there's a lot more to it than
being good looking.

There's no doubt in my mind that looking good will
help you meet women. But there's also no doubt in
my mind that it's far from everything... and, in fact,
most of the guys I know who are very successful with
women are closer to "average" than they are to "model
handsome".

I'm glad that you're adding the "inner game" to the
looks, and having success with it.

Second, to answer your question, I'd like to point
out that when a guy starts experiencing a LOT of success
with women, he usually begins to realize a few things:

1) Just because a woman is attractive doesn't mean
that she has her life together, that she's emotionally
stable, that she will be interesting and fun to spend
time with... etc.

2) The more women you meet, the more PICKY you become.

3) A fantastic woman that really has all areas of
her life together is VERY RARE.

4) Finding one of these rare, wonderful women often
takes awhile.

The fact is that men and women BOTH tend to put their
best foot forward in the beginning and only demonstrate
their positive sides.

If you REALLY want to learn how to figure out what
a woman is REALLY like when you first meet her, then
you'll probably want to start studying psychology,
behavior, and communication in depth.

Also, the more you approach and meet women, the more
you'll be able to put the puzzle together faster in
the beginning.

By the way, you have one of those problems that most
guys would say "Waaaaa, you poor guy". So smile about
it.



***QUESTION***

Dear David:

I need your advise about something. I started to bring
this one girl around my family who really digs me
and I really started to dig also. She is by far the
best looking woman I have ever dated in my life a
solid 9 ½ for sure. Every one of my friends stand
utterly amazed on how well I do with the ladies.
I told them I use your material. I have given your
web site to about 8-10 people already. Out of all
of the girls, I like her most. I started to see her
about two weeks ago and I have used a lot of the
techniques on her in the e-book and she likes it.
I told her I have done a lot of research in the area
of dating and relationships after about three dates.
Well thank the lord I did. Some family members of
mine told this girl I have been reading your stuff.
I did not deny it. However, they specifically said,
I learned how to seduce women and part of it was to
be cocky/sarcastic and funny with women and they like
it. I stood up to the challenge and said, "I told you
I did a lot of reading on the subject matter and it
works because it allows me to see what I want from
a woman and how to handle some of the bullsh** test
you women put us men through. She looked at me and
said, Oh I can't believe you and spanked me!" If I
recall you said, "women actually appreciated the fact
you took the time out to see what turned them on and
they were actually grateful."

On the way home she keep looking at me with a smile
and saying what are you thinking about? I said, nothing
and then I said, I found someone I liked now and it
helped me do it. She said, "what ever works, its ok."
Feel like I lost some of my MO JO control in the relationship
because of it. What do you think? I went back to my
home and started right away on things and we did it
again. How do I handle this girl now that the cat
is completely out of the bag I write into you and
read your stuff! I played it as if everything was
normal and we still did it. She called me and said,
"thank you I had a nice time and I have a great family."
I told her to call me tomorrow. She said, "I will!"
Do you anticipate any problems for me in the future?
I felt a little funny acting cocky and funny with
her after this happened, but I still busted on her
a little but not as much. She laughed at what I said,
but looked at me like is this really you speaking.
I hope they didn't screw this up for me with this
one. I am so pissed off. I can't believe they would
give me up like that. I don't think I looked any less
confident about my abilities to make her feel the
powerful emotion attraction. Any comments on the subject
need a response ASAP.

Thanks David!

JPNY


>>>MY COMMENTS:

Your email is rather funny, man.

So what you're telling me here is that you did everything
you learned from me, you met an ultra fine, wonderful
woman, you told her how you learned to attract women,
she responded by calling you to tell you that she
had a nice time with you...

And your problem is what?

YOUR PROBLEM IS YOUR OWN SELF DOUBT.

When you said to her "...I found someone I like and
it helped me do it..." it almost sounds like YOU'RE
APLOGOIZING for it. Bad bad bad. I'm assuming that
you TURNED INTO A WUSS FOR A MOMENT and used the "I'm
caught" voice... and when she said "what ever works,
its ok" she wished that she didn't have to tell you
that.

Quit doubting yourself, and keep doing what works.



***QUESTION***

Whats up Dave? I like the work you did in your eBook...
cocky/funny and the friendship frame work great. I
do have one question however. You state that cocky/funny
humor works best when your not smiling/look serious.
However, a lot of guys who I know that are successful
with women say that smiling is the most effective
thing that attracts women. What's your take on smiling?

W-CA


>>>MY COMMENTS:

This is an interesting subject.

I think that MOST guys smile too much when they're
talking to women that they're attracted to.

Now, I have to modify what I just said a bit.

How about this: Most guys smile IN A WAY THAT LOOKS
LIKE FAKE APPROVAL SEEKING WUSSY MAN when they're
talking to women that they're attracted to.

I recommend that most guys learn how to control all
aspects of their body language so they can quit doing
things that make them needy, apologetic, like they're
trying to get a woman's approval, etc.

And smiling is one of those aspects.

With that said, I know guys who smile A LOT when they're
meeting women, and they do VERY well.

What's their secret?

They know all the things to do RIGHT, so their smiling
doesn't come across as them trying to be liked, kissing
up to a woman, etc.

Do what works for you.

But if you've been the kind of guy that tries to get
women to "like you" in the past, then you'd probably
benefit from learning how to smile less, and be Cocky
& Funny MORE.



***COMMENT FROM A WOMAN***

Dave,

I am a 29 year old female, and subscribed to your
news letter for kicks and to see what advice you were
giving men. I have to say that you are pretty much
dead on, although I have only read the e-mail newsletters
for the past week or so. However, what prompted me
to write was your response to A.from Mpls in your
"Mailbag". He asked how not to "regress to Wuss behavior".
Each and every one of those applies to someone I dated
very briefly back in November. He was guilty of ALL
THREE Wuss behaviors, and I promptly stopped seeing
him. Don't get me wrong, I'm not looking to chase
after some jerk. But I do want someone with his own
life, his own circle of friends, his own hobbies and
interests, etc. It's very difficult to share all that
life has to offer when a guy doesn't have one of his
own, or gives it up just to be with me. I'm looking
for someone that will challenge me (and I him) so that
we can grow together. I don't want someone growing
attached to me. Keep up the good work.

K, New Jersey


>>>MY COMMENTS:

ATTENTION MEN! ATTENTION MEN!

Read the above letter again, and see if you can "get"
what this woman is saying.

Try to imagine what it's like to be her, and try to
figure out what she's REALLY trying to communicate
here.

If you don't get it, read it once a day until you do.



***QUESTION***

What's happening Dave?

i've got a few questions.

1. You always reiterate not being a wuss, but what
type of things/actions should i be saying to act like
a man? Should I be cussing my head off in front of
her and threaten with a back-handed slap like a pimp?
(laughing)

2. This might be a stupid question, but i say the
only stupid question is the one you don't ask. I was
wondering what does it mean when you're in a club/bar
type of scene and a woman is driking (water or watever)
and she is giving me eye contact? Is she intrested
in me or just teasing?

3. Also how cocky should i be, cuz i don't wanna come
across as arrogant? i'm a rookie in the game (18),
& i've noticed that women give me signals (e.g. looking),
but my insecurities kick in, and before i make a move
i wan't to be sure that she's really intrested in
me, rather than playing the fool.

eternal thanks.

a


>>>MY COMMENTS:

Answers:

1) To answer your question about whether to cuss your
head off in front of a woman and threaten with a back-handed
slap like a pimp (laughing)...

NO. Don't laugh at all while you do it.

2) In response to the "what does it mean when a woman
is giving me eye contact" question...

It means that she's ***.

3) To address your question about how cocky you should
be...

You should be exactly 87.234235% cocky. No more, no
less.

OK, OK, I should be more gentle with you. I sure wish
that I would have been asking these questions when
I was 18.

Maybe I just envy you, and want you to have to go
through the school of hard knocks like I did. OK,
enough self-therapy... back to the questions.

Ways to act like a man include (but are not limited
to):

1) Holding yourself upright, chest held high.

2) Acting like a LEADER, not a follower.

3) Not looking to others for approval and attention.

4) Demonstrating that you are in CONTROL of yourself
and your surroundings.

...When a woman makes repeated eye contact with you,
she's usually signaling to you that she'd like you
to approach her and start a conversation.

...The right amount of Cocky is the same amount of
FUNNY. You always want to make sure that what you're
saying is FUNNY as well as COCKY. Guys who use TOO
MUCH Cocky come across as arrogant and insecure.

You'll learn a lot as you use this stuff.

Thanks for your email!



***QUESTION***

David:

Your audio series have done a lot for me, my sex life
is almost great. (now I only have 2 girls to sleep
with) one is an "8" and the other one is a "3" I know
she is a monster but what the hell its great to practice..
by the way I am 36 and they are 22

Today I was with some friends at a MacDonald's talking
about cars and I made eye contact with a "9" , On
the way out I only made a funny comment to her and
she responded very friendly but we left anyway. When
I was in the car I realize how stupid and slow I was.

I hate long letters so here is the question:

How do I program myself to automatically say "Hi"
when I see an unexpected opportunity? (Specially
if I am thinking about other stuff) I always think
in a thousand things that I should say when it's too
late. I know this can be done because I say "Thanks"
when the opportunity appears without thinking or "Bless
you" when somebody sneezes.

The girls I sleep with now where introduced to me
by friends in common but I still have problems picking
up women in the street.

Greetings.

R.C.D.
Mexico City


>>>MY COMMENTS:

You're cracking me up over here!

Your sex life is "almost great"?

And my favorite quote of the day has to be "...and
the other is a "3" I know she is a monster but what
the hell it's great to practice...".

Whatever, dude.

lol...

The way to get yourself to the point where you start
talking to women automatically is:

1) To mentally practice this stuff every day until
you're DOING IT (like you learned in the CD Audio
Program)...

2) To keep DOING IT IN THE REAL WORLD until it's a
HABIT.

Look, you've been running around on this planet for
36 years with the habit of NOT automatically saying
hi. It might take a few minutes or so to program yourself
with the opposite.

You're doing fine, just stick with it and you'll start
to see more and better results.



***QUESTION***

Hi David,

Been enjoying your ebook tips especially bridges.
Do you have any tips for when sharing a shower w/ a
woman?

E


>>>MY COMMENTS:

Only one... do it as often as possible.




***COMMENT FROM A WOMAN***

Hey Dave, so you think you are the main man - the
only one out there who has discovered "our game?"
Ha!

Somehow I got on your mailing list and I can't tell
you how much I enjoy reading all the wuss comments.

I must congratulate you, senor savvy, on making
a ton of money by giving away our little secret.

I am a 41 year old happily married woman with a
great husband. Let me tell you, we bust on EACH OTHER
to this day and it keeps us going.

I hope all those wusses out there keep taking your
advice we women love this crap and feed off it. I
personally lap it up and then turn around and dish
it out. Why not? It sparks severe sensual interest
and tension and keeps things on fire! Don't get me
wrong, we both do nice things for each other, but we
love a challenge, too. My husband goes nuts when I
throw him down and give him what I need.

I have two boys & a girl - the boys are being raised
to love their mama, but not take anything off of their
girlfriends until its worth it. And my baby girl?
She already has my personality and cockiness and is
going to be hell on wheels!

I love your newsletters - see, I actually get a
few hints here and there too!

KP
Houston, Texas


>>>MY COMMENTS:

Oh, you said something that is PRICELESS about busting
on and being busted on...

"It sparks severe sensual interest and tension and
keeps things on fire!"

THIS IS A WOMAN TALKING HERE, SO PAY ATTENTION!

Most guys just can't at all imagine how being Cocky
& Funny, busting on a woman, teasing her, etc. could
POSSIBLY work to create ATTRACTION.

Well, it does. Thanks for your email.



***QUESTION***

Dave, first of all, you are absolutely right about
the C/F routine. Excellent technique. I've even "experimented"
on a friend of mine (It's a female, i'm not ***).
She seems be more flirty around me when i am being
cocky. I have been friends with her for about a year,
and i'm trying to hook up with her. I know that people
say once the "friendship line" is crossed, there's
no turning back. But i'm wondering if there is anything
you can help me with to try to hook up with her. She's
even told me she's thought about hooking up with me,
but said it might be weird because we are good friends.
I need help, i really want to get something going with
this girl. Is there something i should do or say to
her? Would it be weird if i just kissed her? Help!

-Dick, NJ


>>>MY COMMENTS:

Yea, I have a great idea.

Keep doing what you're doing.

It's not impossible to make a woman that is "just
friends" with you attracted to you.

It's just that most guys act like SUCH WUSSIES around
their female friends that it would be easier to turn
coal into diamonds than to turn their female friends
into lovers.

And use "The Kiss Test" (the one on the second page
of my main website).

That will keep the kiss from being "weird".



***SUCCESS STORY***

A friend got me your books as a birthday present,
being that before then I was pretty pathetic with
the ladies, Being a wrestler made it all the more
of an insult. When I did get a relationship, it would
never last more than a week, and nothing would come
out of it. Well, after reading your stuff I realized
how much of a wuss I was. I did almost every wuss
thing in the book, not to mention just having a severe
lack of confidence...

Just to see what works, I went on one of those picture
rating sites. I'll tell ya, of 3 pictures I ranked
from 6.5 to 9.5. The 6.5 one being me as a well groomed
nice guy with a smile and the 9.5 as me a year later
in a cast with a "pissed off drug dealer" look (I'd
been missing a season of wrestling, it was only fitting).
I realized the nice guy look wasn't working. I also
met about a dozen girls on that system and just practiced
the c&f on them. I was the one calling the shots,
dropping the boring ones and sticking to the interesting
ones, instead of them choosing whether I was worthy...
The funny part was, they each started telling me how
infatuated they were with me, and telling me about
dozens of guys who piss them off, where each of those
guys were doing things I used to do by nature... Well,
after I realized that I actually did have it in me,
I brought it all together and started using it on girls
back at college. I'm currently going out with one of
the most beautiful girls in my college, and it's you
I have to thank for it.

JW, Pennsylvania


>>>MY COMMENTS:

YEA!

A guy that actually did the things that I wrote in
the book, and found out that they work.

NICE!

What can I say, other than "keep up the great work"?

Oh, and you're welcome.

...and if you're reading this right now, and you've
been thinking to yourself "OK, it's time for me to
finally get this part of my personal life handled",
then YOU'RE RIGHT.

Make this a resolution.

Make yourself a promise.

Just do something to TAKE ACTION, and get to work
on it!