garnet4david2001
12th July 2006, 03:44
Approaching Women And "Getting Physical" With Her
Post some comments please
***QUESTION***
Dave, your work has really changed my life. A buddy
of mine introduced me to the whole C&F deal, signed
me up for your newsletters, and I've recently purchased
the books. I'm now currently passing on the ways of
The Force to a complete wussbag friend who, like me,
was brought up to treat women nicely and avoid talking
about sexual things because it's "too forward". Well,
as you're covered a million times, we're programmed
by our mothers to be total wussies from the day we're
born.
I realized that in my past when I've not cared and
was totally C&F and she got it, I ended up on dates.
Unfortunately, I didn't know better back then and
would morph into wuss mode because "it's what they
want" and eventually I was just another friend. Anyway,
it hasn't taken long for much of your teachings to
make sense. The more I bust their balls the better
things always seem, and when I can't find the ball
busting material I pull the James Bond stance, cock
the head to one side, and stand near them like I know
they want it... and I'm just the man to give it to
them! Believe me guys, exuding confidence is by far
the biggest improvement you'll make to your game.
Ok, on to the success story. First, I met this fairly
hot chick (7.5) at the bar a couple weeks back. At
first I was out of it, didn't know what to say (was
a long day), and when my buddy was working her friend
I just wandered off after just saying hi. I got my
beer, wandered back after taking a time out to come
up with a few lines and that's when things got interesting.
I could tell that she was sorta confused that I just
said hi and walked off and didn't just stay there while
my buddy worked. Awesome. So I come back, busted
on her a bunch, then wandered off... again. In the
mean time my buddy was still struggling away with
her chunky and not-so-hot friend. Sidenote: he's the
"wuss" I refer to earlier that I'm currently trying
to train. Things move on, I go talk to my other buddies
who are with us, see her on the dance floor (buddy
still in tow with "The Friend"), and now I'm getting
warmed up with the C&F. I see this dude with the ugliest
sweater ever created, point it out to her, and I asked
her if she thought he had skinned his couch to make
that thing. She loved it, got the e-mail, and
the rest is history in progress. Dropped her quite
a few cocky e-mails, she sent the phone number...
To close this up, two comments and a question. First,
it's strange but true that when you ignore them they
pay more attention to you. Second, had she not played
the "we're drunk, lets not have sex" card I would have
surely closed the deal... on our first time out after
the bar meeting.
Dave, your teachings are truly amazing. I do have
one question for you. I KNOW you're not supposed
to buy everything because it's wussy (and expensive),
but what do you do when you're out, you get round
one because you lost a bet to this chick, and when
round two comes she just sits there expecting you
to buy? Fortunately, she's a cheap drunk, but unfortunately
I bought all the booze that night. I went as far as
looking at her and saying "well I guess I've got this
round too, huh?" when she sat there. Like I said,
round one was on me because of a bet and that's all
I wanted to pay for. I want to go out with her again,
but I don't want to get stuck with a $50 dinner tab.
Thanks for any advice.
JMS
Detroit
>>>MY COMMENTS:
Well, I'd first like to comment on your story of
how you met this particular girl.
You've really provided a great example of how to
be very DIFFERENT than most guys, and how to integrate
a lot of my ideas together and successfully apply
them.
The idea of walking up to a woman, saying "hi",
and then WALKING AWAY is great (only if you're reasonably
sure that you're going to see her again... like in
a typical bar scenario).
What do MOST guys do?
They start talking to a woman, KEEP talking to
her, try to get a "normal" conversation going, try
to buy her a drink, etc.
In your case, you TEASED her mind by doing something
unexpected... you said hi, then walked away.
This leaves her to wonder things like:
"Why did he leave?"
"Maybe he thought I was attractive, but then when
I opened my mouth he didn't like my personality."
"Why didn't he offer to buy me a drink or come on
to me like the other guys here?"
...etc. etc. etc.
The point is that when you start talking, then
walk away, then start talking again, then walk away
it demonstrates that you're VERY different from the
other guys in the bar who are all acting the same.
It shows that you have self control, that you have
things to do, that you could take her or leave her...
And when you ADD to this the Cocky & Funny attitude
and humor, it creates a VERY unusual experience for
the woman... she's now talking to a guy who seems TOTALLY
in control of himself... a guy who is not only unpredictable,
but is also interesting and funny to talk to (good
things, by the way).
Next, your idea of making a bet to see who buys
the drinks is GREAT. I really like it.
If I were you, I'd just keep betting for each round
of drinks... hey, if it worked once, why stop? It keeps
things fun as well.
And if you're going to KEEP paying for drinks,
you need to say "So what am I going to get out of this
deal? Don't think just because I'm buying you a drink
that I'm going to take you home with me."
Tell her that she owes you a two hour full-body
massage in return. Tell her that you can BUY a woman
in other parts of the world for the price of her bar
tab.
OK, one of the things you mentioned was that she
said: "We're drunk, let's not have sex".
If I were you, I'd get out the bonus booklet that
you got when you downloaded Double Your Dating... the
one called "Sex Secrets". The problem you were most
likely dealing with is that you made some type of sexual
advance before she was EMOTIONALLY and PHYSICALLY turned
on enough.
When you really pay attention to what I teach in
Sex Secrets, you'll begin to understand how to really
AMPLIFY and accelerate her arousal, and how to get
her to the point where SHE is the one that's telling
YOU that she wants to move to the next step (and she'll
be telling you with her body most likely, not her words).
Go read it again.
And to address your question about paying for drinks
and dates...
The reality of the situation is that most women
EXPECT a man to pay for a date.
I've had this conversation with MANY, MANY women,
and when I challenge them and explain that it sets
up an imbalance when a man starts paying for things
in the beginning, most women start saying things like:
"I don't like cheap men."
"A gentleman will always pay for a lady."
"I don't want a guy who can't afford to take me out."
"I don't want a guy that I have to support."
"A guy is lucky to be with me, and he should pay."
I can feel the hair standing up on the backs of
the necks of men and women all over the world who
are reading this right now.
To be fair, I have met SEVERAL women who disagree
with this kind of thinking... women who are independent,
self sufficient, and who aren't interested in finding
a guy who will pay their way.
But in GENERAL, this is what you're going to run
into.
Many women actually don't think of it as a man
"paying" for them. They don't even think about the
money itself.
They actually believe that a "gentleman" is supposed
to always be the one who pays... that it was HIM who
offered to take HER out... and that just because she's
female that she deserves to be treated to free food
and entertainment.
HELL, MY OWN MOM EVEN THINKS THIS WAY! lol...
(I think it's funny now, but I wish she would have
told me what was REALLY going on about 20 years ago,
instead of making me figure it all out myself.)
Am I starting to rant?
OK, random thought:
If a woman says "Just because a guy takes me out
and buys me a nice dinner doesn't mean I'm going to
sleep with him", does that mean what she's really saying
is that SOMETIMES when a man takes her out and buys
her dinner that it means she's going to sleep with
him?
WHATEVER.
Now that we've talked psychology, let's talk action.
In my humble, personal opinion, the best way to
avoid having to pay for a woman's dinner is to NOT
TAKE HER OUT TO DINNER IN THE FIRST PLACE.
I know that it seems obvious, and you've heard
me say this in 100 different ways, but you REALLY CAN
avoid paying for things by just avoiding the SITUATIONS.
If you don't want to pay for drinks, don't go to
bars.
If you don't want to pay for dinner, don't go out
to restaurants.
If you don't want to pay for diamonds, avoid jewelry
stores.
There are a MILLION other great ideas out there,
and a MILLION other MORE INTERESTING things to do.
And remember the most IMPORTANT reason why you
don't want to start by paying for things:
IT SETS YOU UP AS A PROVIDER IN HER MIND.
Don't worry about PAYING for things, only be concerned
with creating the emotion called ATTRACTION inside
of her. That's it.
If she feels a powerful emotional ATTRACTION for
you, then nothing else matters.
Look around.
There are beautiful, intelligent, successful women
that you probably know RIGHT NOW who are with guys
who mistreat them... guys who the women even have to
support entirely in many cases...
WHY?
Well, it all started with ATTRACTION.
Do three things:
1) Avoid traditional situations that automatically
set you up to pay for things.
2) Think through and plan interesting experiences
for women. Go places and do things that naturally
create an interesting, fun time... and avoid places
that naturally create a tense, uncomfortable atmosphere.
Post some comments please
***QUESTION***
Dave, your work has really changed my life. A buddy
of mine introduced me to the whole C&F deal, signed
me up for your newsletters, and I've recently purchased
the books. I'm now currently passing on the ways of
The Force to a complete wussbag friend who, like me,
was brought up to treat women nicely and avoid talking
about sexual things because it's "too forward". Well,
as you're covered a million times, we're programmed
by our mothers to be total wussies from the day we're
born.
I realized that in my past when I've not cared and
was totally C&F and she got it, I ended up on dates.
Unfortunately, I didn't know better back then and
would morph into wuss mode because "it's what they
want" and eventually I was just another friend. Anyway,
it hasn't taken long for much of your teachings to
make sense. The more I bust their balls the better
things always seem, and when I can't find the ball
busting material I pull the James Bond stance, cock
the head to one side, and stand near them like I know
they want it... and I'm just the man to give it to
them! Believe me guys, exuding confidence is by far
the biggest improvement you'll make to your game.
Ok, on to the success story. First, I met this fairly
hot chick (7.5) at the bar a couple weeks back. At
first I was out of it, didn't know what to say (was
a long day), and when my buddy was working her friend
I just wandered off after just saying hi. I got my
beer, wandered back after taking a time out to come
up with a few lines and that's when things got interesting.
I could tell that she was sorta confused that I just
said hi and walked off and didn't just stay there while
my buddy worked. Awesome. So I come back, busted
on her a bunch, then wandered off... again. In the
mean time my buddy was still struggling away with
her chunky and not-so-hot friend. Sidenote: he's the
"wuss" I refer to earlier that I'm currently trying
to train. Things move on, I go talk to my other buddies
who are with us, see her on the dance floor (buddy
still in tow with "The Friend"), and now I'm getting
warmed up with the C&F. I see this dude with the ugliest
sweater ever created, point it out to her, and I asked
her if she thought he had skinned his couch to make
that thing. She loved it, got the e-mail, and
the rest is history in progress. Dropped her quite
a few cocky e-mails, she sent the phone number...
To close this up, two comments and a question. First,
it's strange but true that when you ignore them they
pay more attention to you. Second, had she not played
the "we're drunk, lets not have sex" card I would have
surely closed the deal... on our first time out after
the bar meeting.
Dave, your teachings are truly amazing. I do have
one question for you. I KNOW you're not supposed
to buy everything because it's wussy (and expensive),
but what do you do when you're out, you get round
one because you lost a bet to this chick, and when
round two comes she just sits there expecting you
to buy? Fortunately, she's a cheap drunk, but unfortunately
I bought all the booze that night. I went as far as
looking at her and saying "well I guess I've got this
round too, huh?" when she sat there. Like I said,
round one was on me because of a bet and that's all
I wanted to pay for. I want to go out with her again,
but I don't want to get stuck with a $50 dinner tab.
Thanks for any advice.
JMS
Detroit
>>>MY COMMENTS:
Well, I'd first like to comment on your story of
how you met this particular girl.
You've really provided a great example of how to
be very DIFFERENT than most guys, and how to integrate
a lot of my ideas together and successfully apply
them.
The idea of walking up to a woman, saying "hi",
and then WALKING AWAY is great (only if you're reasonably
sure that you're going to see her again... like in
a typical bar scenario).
What do MOST guys do?
They start talking to a woman, KEEP talking to
her, try to get a "normal" conversation going, try
to buy her a drink, etc.
In your case, you TEASED her mind by doing something
unexpected... you said hi, then walked away.
This leaves her to wonder things like:
"Why did he leave?"
"Maybe he thought I was attractive, but then when
I opened my mouth he didn't like my personality."
"Why didn't he offer to buy me a drink or come on
to me like the other guys here?"
...etc. etc. etc.
The point is that when you start talking, then
walk away, then start talking again, then walk away
it demonstrates that you're VERY different from the
other guys in the bar who are all acting the same.
It shows that you have self control, that you have
things to do, that you could take her or leave her...
And when you ADD to this the Cocky & Funny attitude
and humor, it creates a VERY unusual experience for
the woman... she's now talking to a guy who seems TOTALLY
in control of himself... a guy who is not only unpredictable,
but is also interesting and funny to talk to (good
things, by the way).
Next, your idea of making a bet to see who buys
the drinks is GREAT. I really like it.
If I were you, I'd just keep betting for each round
of drinks... hey, if it worked once, why stop? It keeps
things fun as well.
And if you're going to KEEP paying for drinks,
you need to say "So what am I going to get out of this
deal? Don't think just because I'm buying you a drink
that I'm going to take you home with me."
Tell her that she owes you a two hour full-body
massage in return. Tell her that you can BUY a woman
in other parts of the world for the price of her bar
tab.
OK, one of the things you mentioned was that she
said: "We're drunk, let's not have sex".
If I were you, I'd get out the bonus booklet that
you got when you downloaded Double Your Dating... the
one called "Sex Secrets". The problem you were most
likely dealing with is that you made some type of sexual
advance before she was EMOTIONALLY and PHYSICALLY turned
on enough.
When you really pay attention to what I teach in
Sex Secrets, you'll begin to understand how to really
AMPLIFY and accelerate her arousal, and how to get
her to the point where SHE is the one that's telling
YOU that she wants to move to the next step (and she'll
be telling you with her body most likely, not her words).
Go read it again.
And to address your question about paying for drinks
and dates...
The reality of the situation is that most women
EXPECT a man to pay for a date.
I've had this conversation with MANY, MANY women,
and when I challenge them and explain that it sets
up an imbalance when a man starts paying for things
in the beginning, most women start saying things like:
"I don't like cheap men."
"A gentleman will always pay for a lady."
"I don't want a guy who can't afford to take me out."
"I don't want a guy that I have to support."
"A guy is lucky to be with me, and he should pay."
I can feel the hair standing up on the backs of
the necks of men and women all over the world who
are reading this right now.
To be fair, I have met SEVERAL women who disagree
with this kind of thinking... women who are independent,
self sufficient, and who aren't interested in finding
a guy who will pay their way.
But in GENERAL, this is what you're going to run
into.
Many women actually don't think of it as a man
"paying" for them. They don't even think about the
money itself.
They actually believe that a "gentleman" is supposed
to always be the one who pays... that it was HIM who
offered to take HER out... and that just because she's
female that she deserves to be treated to free food
and entertainment.
HELL, MY OWN MOM EVEN THINKS THIS WAY! lol...
(I think it's funny now, but I wish she would have
told me what was REALLY going on about 20 years ago,
instead of making me figure it all out myself.)
Am I starting to rant?
OK, random thought:
If a woman says "Just because a guy takes me out
and buys me a nice dinner doesn't mean I'm going to
sleep with him", does that mean what she's really saying
is that SOMETIMES when a man takes her out and buys
her dinner that it means she's going to sleep with
him?
WHATEVER.
Now that we've talked psychology, let's talk action.
In my humble, personal opinion, the best way to
avoid having to pay for a woman's dinner is to NOT
TAKE HER OUT TO DINNER IN THE FIRST PLACE.
I know that it seems obvious, and you've heard
me say this in 100 different ways, but you REALLY CAN
avoid paying for things by just avoiding the SITUATIONS.
If you don't want to pay for drinks, don't go to
bars.
If you don't want to pay for dinner, don't go out
to restaurants.
If you don't want to pay for diamonds, avoid jewelry
stores.
There are a MILLION other great ideas out there,
and a MILLION other MORE INTERESTING things to do.
And remember the most IMPORTANT reason why you
don't want to start by paying for things:
IT SETS YOU UP AS A PROVIDER IN HER MIND.
Don't worry about PAYING for things, only be concerned
with creating the emotion called ATTRACTION inside
of her. That's it.
If she feels a powerful emotional ATTRACTION for
you, then nothing else matters.
Look around.
There are beautiful, intelligent, successful women
that you probably know RIGHT NOW who are with guys
who mistreat them... guys who the women even have to
support entirely in many cases...
WHY?
Well, it all started with ATTRACTION.
Do three things:
1) Avoid traditional situations that automatically
set you up to pay for things.
2) Think through and plan interesting experiences
for women. Go places and do things that naturally
create an interesting, fun time... and avoid places
that naturally create a tense, uncomfortable atmosphere.