Getting Over Your Fear Of Women
Post some Comments or Succes Stories please

>>>THIS WEEK'S READER COMMENT:

Hi Obi'Wan De'Angelo,

I was one of, I'm guessing, the heaps of other guys
that have trouble with the ladies that are giant
procrastinators.

This was a major problem of mine, I'd think about
what to do and what to say, only to find that I missed
my opportunity in doing so.

Then a few weeks after reading "Double Your Dating" I
thought bugger this what am I scared of a little girl
who is smaller than me not being interested. What a
way to live life. Worried so much about what somebody
else might think or say. I'm 19 and had never dated,
so I set myself a goal of getting half a dozen dates
by the end of the year. Now this may not seem like a
lot, but to me it seemed almost impossible.

I started by phoning a girl that is in my course at
uni who's number I already had, and I arranged a study
date. When I say 'I' she basically organized it, I
think she was just waiting for me to show some initiative
because she sounded almost ecstatic that I had phoned'.

And although I didn't jump straight in the deep-end
asking a stranger for her number, that was only a
step away. Now I have so many girls to choose from
it's almost confusing. Though I prefer being confused
than lonely.

So Dave what I'm trying to say is you have improved
my life tenfold. Not only am I having a great time
seeing different girls, I'm also doing better at my
studies because I no longer have in the back of my
mind how pathetic I am. I also have made more friends
through knowing so many more people. All I needed was
that first little step and it soon snowballed,
because as you know pretty girls know pretty girls,
now it's just a matter of finding one that meets my
now prestigious standards.

Dave IOU my life, thanks.

T.G.

Australia


>>>MY COMMENTS:

Thanks for the great Success Story! Nice!

Ah, the concept that is near and dear to all of us
men who have started on the path to success with
women and dating...

FEAR.

Fear of rejection.

Fear of embarrassment.

Fear of the unknown.

Fear of what she might do if I start talking to her.

Fear of what other guys would think if they knew that
we needed help with women.

Fear of what WOMEN would think if they knew that we
needed help with women.

Fear of admitting that we're AFRAID.

...and about 100 others.

But what exactly IS fear?

And why is it such a problem?

And what can be done to overcome it?

Well, let's start with what fear is, then we'll move
on to some techniques to get past it.

I once heard a great definition of FEAR:

False
Evidence
Appearing
Real

In other words, the things that you feel fear about
are usually not real. It's usually just "false
evidence".

You also might think back about the last 10 things
you felt fear around. Now, ask yourself... Did any of
those things come true?

In most of the cases, you'll find that the fear did
NOT come true.

I heard once that something like 98% of the things
that people fear and worry about never come true.

I've found this to be true in my own life, of course.

Fear is an emotion, or an emotional state. It's an
amazing and wonderful emotion... because it can help
save your life in certain situations.

A hundred thousand years ago, when we were running
around in the desert, we needed powerful, motivating
emotions like FEAR to save our lives.

When you feel fear (especially if it's a response to
real physical danger) you'll notice that some AMAZING
things happen. Your eyes open up wider so you can see
better, adrenaline pumps into your body, your heart
beats fast to deliver blood to your muscles, and all
kinds of other wondrous processes are triggered.

The PROBLEM is when we experience fear at times when
there IS NO real physical danger.

We humans are amazing. We can just IMAGINE things and
feel fear in response to the mental images.

And I'm sure you know exactly what the problem is
with this... it can IMMOBILIZE you at critical times.

Have you ever seen a woman that you'd like to meet,
but you just couldn't walk over and start talking to
her?

No, it's never happened to me, either.

What was the problem?

Usually, it's fear.

Fear that she'll get upset, or fear that she'll have
a boyfriend... or fear that she'll embarrass you in
front of others... or fear that you won't know what
to say to her...

And, of course, when you feel that strong fear emotion,
it just FREEZES you and makes you totally ineffective.

So what's the solution?

Well, there are several ways to overcome fears.

One way is to do the thing you fear. If you do the
thing that you fear, and see that nothing bad will
happen, then you eventually overcome it and become
programmed not to feel fear anymore.

For instance, if you're afraid to approach women and
talk to them, just DO IT. Go talk to 50 women in the
next week and see that most of them will respond
positively to you (if you don't act like a dumb-ass,
that is).

Other ways include:

-Understanding the dynamics of male/female interactions
better than most women do.

-Learning how to approach women using the same types
of words and body language that the masters use.

-Learning how to use props or other devices to get
a woman's attention without having to "approach" her
directly.

-Learning mental techniques to overcome fears or "reset"
your emotions instantly, anytime you'd like (this
is one of my personal favorites).

-Using mental preparation to be completely ready for
anything that might happen.

...and there are several others.