garnet4david2001
17th July 2006, 11:08
How To Call A Woman To Ask Her Out
Post Some comments or succesful stories please
I have a question for you...
When you get a woman's number and you're picking
up the phone to call and "ask her out", does it bother
you?
Do you get freaked out?
Do you start thinking about exactly what you're
going to say, how you're going to say it, how to deal
with her rejecting you... etc.?
Do you ever get NERVOUS when you're dialing the
phone?
You know that feeling when you just start getting
anxious for no logical reason, and you just CAN'T
control it?
Have you ever had to actually HANG UP because you
were so damn freaked out... and you just couldn't
follow through with it?
OK, now another set of interesting questions...
Have you ever called a woman, and started talking
to her, only to realize that she was in a COMPLETELY
different mood from the last time?
Have you ever had a woman "turn cold" on you all
of a sudden?
It's almost like you're talking to a different
person from the girl you met just a day or two before...
and it makes no sense to you... right?
And finally...
Have you ever worked up the nerve to call, gotten
her on the phone, had a great conversation, but when
it came time to ask her out, you froze up because
you didn't know what to say?
Or even worse, have you ever gotten to the end of
the conversation and asked her out, only to have her
answer with:
"Well, maybe... call me Friday afternoon... OK?"
or...
"Actually, I'm going to be busy all this week, but
thanks for asking... (silence)"
...?
Have you ever had one of those conversations where
you could just TELL that something wasn't right...
and that she wasn't going to be taking you up on your
date offer, or calling you back at all anytime soon?
So why all the problems?
What is it about this particular few minutes of
time that constantly ends in problems for guys?
I personally think that this issue comes down to
a few key DEEPER ISSUES.
And I think that if you don't have these other
issues "handled", you're going to keep running into
problems... and NEVER even know WHY...
...which sucks.
I mean, it's bad enough to keep having a particular
problem and not figure out how to solve it... but
the idea that the solution is in doing something you
would never think of is a little bit maddening.
In other words, I think that this is all about
understanding the problem, and actually PREVENTING
it from coming up... rather than trying to "solve
it" in the moment.
Let me put it this way...
If you're dialing the phone, and you're starting
to feel nervous, then it's already too late to solve
the problem.
No quick fix will help you.
Or if you're on the phone with her and you have
just asked her out on a date, and she says "Um, let
me call you back in a few days and tell you"... and
you start to get that sinking feeling because you know
she's blowing you off... IT'S TOO LATE.
There's no "magic pill" at this point.
The answer is PREVENTION.
THE MAGIC FORMULA
So let's take a few minutes and talk about the
issues and what CAUSES them.
Here are some of the "root causes", and how I see
them...
1) Having no other options.
If you're sitting at the phone with ONE phone number
in your hand, and you haven't been out on a date in
a long time, and you are feeling DESPERATE, you're
probably going to get VERY nervous.
When you have no other options, the single one
in front of you becomes VERY valuable.
Translation: You want it TOO badly.
This AUTOMATICALLY triggers your emotional system,
because at some level you realize that if you screw
this up, it's all over. And you know that it's all
going to happen in just an few SECONDS.
The pressure is too much!
2) Putting too much importance on a single girl.
Now, if you have a girl that you've been dating
for six months, and you've decided that she's one
in a million, it makes sense to put a lot of importance
on your relationship with her.
But if you don't know a girl very well, or you
haven't even dated her at all, then you are only setting
yourself up for major disappointment by putting too
much importance on ANY girl.
3) Thinking you need to IMPRESS her.
This is a HUGE issue.
Most men "unconsciously" behave and communicate
like they're trying to IMPRESS the woman of their
desires.
When you think about this, it only makes sense...
of course you'd want to impress the woman you like...
so she'll think you're a cool guy and want to be with
you.
But have you ever thought for a moment how an interesting,
attractive woman sees it when a guy is TRYING to IMPRESS
her?
Well, here's the INSTANT and UNCONSCIOUS response
that women have:
"He's trying to hard. There's something wrong. This
guy must have something he's trying to hide... and
he must be pretty insecure."
In other words, the INSTANT you do something or
say something that is an obvious attempt at impressing
a woman, her radar system screams:
"WUSSY!"
4) Having expectations and being attached to them.
You might think of this one as a variation of "wanting
it too much"... only slightly different.
When you start getting your hopes and expectations
up, you begin to get ATTACHED to them.
Then you run the risk of HOLDING ON TOO TIGHT to
your little fantasy.
Bad idea.
Women don't date guys who assume too much, act too
comfortable, or fall for them too quickly.
Remember, beautiful women have guys falling for
them left and right.
In fact, they almost EXPECT guys to go out on one
or two dates with them, then say "You know, I really
like you..." and other equally predictable sentiments.
Just like being desperate can destroy your chances
with a woman, liking a woman too much, too fast, and
creating expectations leads to crazy, stupid mistakes
as well.
Now, think over what I just said...
I'm basically saying that if you want to cure the
problem of freaking out when you call women to ask
them out, and the problem of screwing it up when you
have that first conversation and ask them out the first
time, then you have to go INSIDE first... and do some
preventative maintenance on yourself.
And the GOOD NEWS is that this stuff is not only
good for you, it also helps you get even MORE dates
with interesting women.
So here's what to do about this particular problem:
1) Get more options.
If you go out one evening with a couple of friends,
and you meet a REALLY hot girl... and you wind up
having a fun conversation, and getting her number,
what should you do?
RIGHT! Go get at least ONE MORE girl's number.
More, if you can.
This way, when you're picking up the phone to call
(or sending out emails, or whatever), you've got another
woman to call right after her...
In other words, if it doesn't go well, no big deal.
No sweat at all.
Instead of putting all your "hopes" in this one
situation, go get more options... this will prevent
many problems, as well as giving you more women to
date!
And think about it... when are you MOST likely
to get a woman's phone number? When are you the most
likely to be in a great mood that actually ATTRACTS
women?
Exactly... in the moments after you've already
gotten another woman's number.
So take advantage of this time!
2) Dial the phone expecting it to NOT work out with
this girl.
I have news for you: Most women have something
about their personality, behavior, future plans,
etc. that is going to disqualify them from being
good "potential mates" for you.
Now, I'm not saying that "all women are screwed
up", etc.
What I AM saying is that you need to realize that
the only reason you're freaking out so much is because
your EMOTIONS are running the show.
You need to think about how rare it is that you
actually meet a girl that is COMPATIBLE with you...
that you'd enjoy spending time with even if she wasn't
good-looking.
If you have this in mind as you're dialing the
phone, you won't have that "I'm desperate" vibe going
on.
You won't be talking like a guy who has a gun to
his head, either... which is a good thing... because
women get weirded-out by this kind of thing.
3) Instead of asking a woman out, tell her what you're
doing, and then tell her she can come along if she
wants.
Why is "asking a woman out" early on a bad idea?
Because if you don't have a world-class understanding
of male/female dynamics, you're going to come across
as a guy who is trying to use food as date-bait.
In other words, if the first thing out of your
mouth is "I'd like to take you out to dinner" it's
going to be interpreted as "I don't think you're probably
going to accept an invitation to spend time with me
unless I throw in something extra...".
Weak.
And that's how SHE sees it.
The alternative?
Tell her that you're going to be doing something,
and that she should join you.
"Hey, I'm going to go down to Starbucks and get
a cup of tea. You should join me. I'm way more fun
than whatever else you were going to do... and that's
a fact!"
Extra bonus points:
Hint that she's missing out if she doesn't accept
immediately.
If she hems and haws, or hesitates... just interrupt
and say "Hey, you're the one who's missing out".
I also like "You know, never mind. I guess you
don't like to have fun...".
Great stuff!
This is solid Cocky & Funny material, and it's
the right time to use it.
You know, I personally used to get VERY freaked
out when calling women for the first time on the
phone... and "asking them out".
Now that I understand this particular "moment in
time" better, and now that I understand more of the
"dynamics" of what's going on, I get MUCH better results
personally...
In fact, I never get "nervous" anymore when calling
women, and I rarely if EVER have a woman "flake out"
on me.
Now, in this newsletter I've shared a few points
to help you get better results in this particular
area. Use them. They'll definitely help you.
You should read this newsletter right before you
call every one of the next 10 women you meet... in
fact.
But as you can probably tell, this is just one
of MANY important facets of success with women.
In fact, this is just scratching the surface of
the skills you'll need if you want to have CONSISTENT
success with the most DESIRABLE women.
The reality of this situation is that if you want
to take control of this area of your life, and not
walk helpless with women anymore, you're going to
need to take more steps to get yourself educated on
this topic.
And what's the best way to do that quickly, easily,
and without spending years of time and lots of money
learning the HARD WAY?
My Advanced Dating Techniques CD/DVD program.
This program will take you step-by-step through
all the key theories, concepts, and techniques you'll
need to start meeting and dating more women starting
IMMEDIATELY.
And here's another interesting benefit that comes
from going through my Advanced Dating Techniques program...
It actually CHANGES HOW YOU SEE THE WORLD.
The first time you listen to it or watch it, you'll
be hitting your head saying "Ah ha! Ah ha!" the whole
time.
All of those things that have happened to you with
women will start to make sense.
All of the times you screwed up will stop bothering
you, because you'll "get" what happened... and all
of the times that things worked will also make sense.
Of course, you'll also be shaking your head as
you learn some of the most amazing techniques for
approaching women, getting numbers, getting dates,
and taking things to a more "physical level" that
have ever been created (For example, I share all
of my own personal favorite "pick up lines" that
work better than anything I've ever heard of for
approaching women... and I don't share these anywhere
else except my intensive live seminars).
But one of the REAL benefits comes AFTER you go
through it. This is when the real MAGIC starts to
happen.
When you're out at restaurants watching the couple
at the next table, you'll UNDERSTAND what is happening.
When a woman starts doing something subtle that
you would have never noticed before, you'll SEE it...
and she'll SEE that you see it... and you will instantly
be talking to her on a DIFFERENT LEVEL... all because
you know something that most other guys don't.
When you encounter "resistance" or "problems" or
"tests" from women, you will no longer need to get
nervous or upset, because you'll know what TO DO about
it... and when you actually DO the right thing you'll
see that problem disappear.
The point that I'm trying to make is that this
education will not only teach you techniques for meeting
women, it will also give you a new POWER that you
never had before.
Post Some comments or succesful stories please
I have a question for you...
When you get a woman's number and you're picking
up the phone to call and "ask her out", does it bother
you?
Do you get freaked out?
Do you start thinking about exactly what you're
going to say, how you're going to say it, how to deal
with her rejecting you... etc.?
Do you ever get NERVOUS when you're dialing the
phone?
You know that feeling when you just start getting
anxious for no logical reason, and you just CAN'T
control it?
Have you ever had to actually HANG UP because you
were so damn freaked out... and you just couldn't
follow through with it?
OK, now another set of interesting questions...
Have you ever called a woman, and started talking
to her, only to realize that she was in a COMPLETELY
different mood from the last time?
Have you ever had a woman "turn cold" on you all
of a sudden?
It's almost like you're talking to a different
person from the girl you met just a day or two before...
and it makes no sense to you... right?
And finally...
Have you ever worked up the nerve to call, gotten
her on the phone, had a great conversation, but when
it came time to ask her out, you froze up because
you didn't know what to say?
Or even worse, have you ever gotten to the end of
the conversation and asked her out, only to have her
answer with:
"Well, maybe... call me Friday afternoon... OK?"
or...
"Actually, I'm going to be busy all this week, but
thanks for asking... (silence)"
...?
Have you ever had one of those conversations where
you could just TELL that something wasn't right...
and that she wasn't going to be taking you up on your
date offer, or calling you back at all anytime soon?
So why all the problems?
What is it about this particular few minutes of
time that constantly ends in problems for guys?
I personally think that this issue comes down to
a few key DEEPER ISSUES.
And I think that if you don't have these other
issues "handled", you're going to keep running into
problems... and NEVER even know WHY...
...which sucks.
I mean, it's bad enough to keep having a particular
problem and not figure out how to solve it... but
the idea that the solution is in doing something you
would never think of is a little bit maddening.
In other words, I think that this is all about
understanding the problem, and actually PREVENTING
it from coming up... rather than trying to "solve
it" in the moment.
Let me put it this way...
If you're dialing the phone, and you're starting
to feel nervous, then it's already too late to solve
the problem.
No quick fix will help you.
Or if you're on the phone with her and you have
just asked her out on a date, and she says "Um, let
me call you back in a few days and tell you"... and
you start to get that sinking feeling because you know
she's blowing you off... IT'S TOO LATE.
There's no "magic pill" at this point.
The answer is PREVENTION.
THE MAGIC FORMULA
So let's take a few minutes and talk about the
issues and what CAUSES them.
Here are some of the "root causes", and how I see
them...
1) Having no other options.
If you're sitting at the phone with ONE phone number
in your hand, and you haven't been out on a date in
a long time, and you are feeling DESPERATE, you're
probably going to get VERY nervous.
When you have no other options, the single one
in front of you becomes VERY valuable.
Translation: You want it TOO badly.
This AUTOMATICALLY triggers your emotional system,
because at some level you realize that if you screw
this up, it's all over. And you know that it's all
going to happen in just an few SECONDS.
The pressure is too much!
2) Putting too much importance on a single girl.
Now, if you have a girl that you've been dating
for six months, and you've decided that she's one
in a million, it makes sense to put a lot of importance
on your relationship with her.
But if you don't know a girl very well, or you
haven't even dated her at all, then you are only setting
yourself up for major disappointment by putting too
much importance on ANY girl.
3) Thinking you need to IMPRESS her.
This is a HUGE issue.
Most men "unconsciously" behave and communicate
like they're trying to IMPRESS the woman of their
desires.
When you think about this, it only makes sense...
of course you'd want to impress the woman you like...
so she'll think you're a cool guy and want to be with
you.
But have you ever thought for a moment how an interesting,
attractive woman sees it when a guy is TRYING to IMPRESS
her?
Well, here's the INSTANT and UNCONSCIOUS response
that women have:
"He's trying to hard. There's something wrong. This
guy must have something he's trying to hide... and
he must be pretty insecure."
In other words, the INSTANT you do something or
say something that is an obvious attempt at impressing
a woman, her radar system screams:
"WUSSY!"
4) Having expectations and being attached to them.
You might think of this one as a variation of "wanting
it too much"... only slightly different.
When you start getting your hopes and expectations
up, you begin to get ATTACHED to them.
Then you run the risk of HOLDING ON TOO TIGHT to
your little fantasy.
Bad idea.
Women don't date guys who assume too much, act too
comfortable, or fall for them too quickly.
Remember, beautiful women have guys falling for
them left and right.
In fact, they almost EXPECT guys to go out on one
or two dates with them, then say "You know, I really
like you..." and other equally predictable sentiments.
Just like being desperate can destroy your chances
with a woman, liking a woman too much, too fast, and
creating expectations leads to crazy, stupid mistakes
as well.
Now, think over what I just said...
I'm basically saying that if you want to cure the
problem of freaking out when you call women to ask
them out, and the problem of screwing it up when you
have that first conversation and ask them out the first
time, then you have to go INSIDE first... and do some
preventative maintenance on yourself.
And the GOOD NEWS is that this stuff is not only
good for you, it also helps you get even MORE dates
with interesting women.
So here's what to do about this particular problem:
1) Get more options.
If you go out one evening with a couple of friends,
and you meet a REALLY hot girl... and you wind up
having a fun conversation, and getting her number,
what should you do?
RIGHT! Go get at least ONE MORE girl's number.
More, if you can.
This way, when you're picking up the phone to call
(or sending out emails, or whatever), you've got another
woman to call right after her...
In other words, if it doesn't go well, no big deal.
No sweat at all.
Instead of putting all your "hopes" in this one
situation, go get more options... this will prevent
many problems, as well as giving you more women to
date!
And think about it... when are you MOST likely
to get a woman's phone number? When are you the most
likely to be in a great mood that actually ATTRACTS
women?
Exactly... in the moments after you've already
gotten another woman's number.
So take advantage of this time!
2) Dial the phone expecting it to NOT work out with
this girl.
I have news for you: Most women have something
about their personality, behavior, future plans,
etc. that is going to disqualify them from being
good "potential mates" for you.
Now, I'm not saying that "all women are screwed
up", etc.
What I AM saying is that you need to realize that
the only reason you're freaking out so much is because
your EMOTIONS are running the show.
You need to think about how rare it is that you
actually meet a girl that is COMPATIBLE with you...
that you'd enjoy spending time with even if she wasn't
good-looking.
If you have this in mind as you're dialing the
phone, you won't have that "I'm desperate" vibe going
on.
You won't be talking like a guy who has a gun to
his head, either... which is a good thing... because
women get weirded-out by this kind of thing.
3) Instead of asking a woman out, tell her what you're
doing, and then tell her she can come along if she
wants.
Why is "asking a woman out" early on a bad idea?
Because if you don't have a world-class understanding
of male/female dynamics, you're going to come across
as a guy who is trying to use food as date-bait.
In other words, if the first thing out of your
mouth is "I'd like to take you out to dinner" it's
going to be interpreted as "I don't think you're probably
going to accept an invitation to spend time with me
unless I throw in something extra...".
Weak.
And that's how SHE sees it.
The alternative?
Tell her that you're going to be doing something,
and that she should join you.
"Hey, I'm going to go down to Starbucks and get
a cup of tea. You should join me. I'm way more fun
than whatever else you were going to do... and that's
a fact!"
Extra bonus points:
Hint that she's missing out if she doesn't accept
immediately.
If she hems and haws, or hesitates... just interrupt
and say "Hey, you're the one who's missing out".
I also like "You know, never mind. I guess you
don't like to have fun...".
Great stuff!
This is solid Cocky & Funny material, and it's
the right time to use it.
You know, I personally used to get VERY freaked
out when calling women for the first time on the
phone... and "asking them out".
Now that I understand this particular "moment in
time" better, and now that I understand more of the
"dynamics" of what's going on, I get MUCH better results
personally...
In fact, I never get "nervous" anymore when calling
women, and I rarely if EVER have a woman "flake out"
on me.
Now, in this newsletter I've shared a few points
to help you get better results in this particular
area. Use them. They'll definitely help you.
You should read this newsletter right before you
call every one of the next 10 women you meet... in
fact.
But as you can probably tell, this is just one
of MANY important facets of success with women.
In fact, this is just scratching the surface of
the skills you'll need if you want to have CONSISTENT
success with the most DESIRABLE women.
The reality of this situation is that if you want
to take control of this area of your life, and not
walk helpless with women anymore, you're going to
need to take more steps to get yourself educated on
this topic.
And what's the best way to do that quickly, easily,
and without spending years of time and lots of money
learning the HARD WAY?
My Advanced Dating Techniques CD/DVD program.
This program will take you step-by-step through
all the key theories, concepts, and techniques you'll
need to start meeting and dating more women starting
IMMEDIATELY.
And here's another interesting benefit that comes
from going through my Advanced Dating Techniques program...
It actually CHANGES HOW YOU SEE THE WORLD.
The first time you listen to it or watch it, you'll
be hitting your head saying "Ah ha! Ah ha!" the whole
time.
All of those things that have happened to you with
women will start to make sense.
All of the times you screwed up will stop bothering
you, because you'll "get" what happened... and all
of the times that things worked will also make sense.
Of course, you'll also be shaking your head as
you learn some of the most amazing techniques for
approaching women, getting numbers, getting dates,
and taking things to a more "physical level" that
have ever been created (For example, I share all
of my own personal favorite "pick up lines" that
work better than anything I've ever heard of for
approaching women... and I don't share these anywhere
else except my intensive live seminars).
But one of the REAL benefits comes AFTER you go
through it. This is when the real MAGIC starts to
happen.
When you're out at restaurants watching the couple
at the next table, you'll UNDERSTAND what is happening.
When a woman starts doing something subtle that
you would have never noticed before, you'll SEE it...
and she'll SEE that you see it... and you will instantly
be talking to her on a DIFFERENT LEVEL... all because
you know something that most other guys don't.
When you encounter "resistance" or "problems" or
"tests" from women, you will no longer need to get
nervous or upset, because you'll know what TO DO about
it... and when you actually DO the right thing you'll
see that problem disappear.
The point that I'm trying to make is that this
education will not only teach you techniques for meeting
women, it will also give you a new POWER that you
never had before.