How To Approach Women, Start Conversations
POst some comments or sucessful storeis please


***QUESTION***

Dear Dave,

You are an awesome teacher. Since using your material
(the e-book and the CDs) I have increase my dating
life by many-folds. It has become a lot easier to
be Cocky and funny; it feels like second nature at
this time and a part of my personality.

I have two questions: One, where can I find old newsletters?
I save all your newsletters but I accidentally erased
about ten of them from my e-mail account. I really
would like to re-read some of them but I cannot find
them anywhere on the web.

The second question is: What do you do in a situation
where you have set up a coffee date with a woman and
she blows you off by not showing up? The problem specifically
is how do you react when you see this woman again.
I work out in a local gym and had asked one of the
personal trainers to coffee. However, I was stood up
and I see her everyday. Would you respond by ignoring
her ( which seems childish and behaving in the immature
manner she treated me by not respecting me and my time)
or by talking to her ( and thereby acting like a spineless
wimp) ? Any input would be greatly appreciated.

Disciple in D.C.


>>>MY COMMENTS:

Great questions...

To answer your question about where you can find past
issues of my newsletters:

NOWHERE.

They aren't published or saved in an archive anywhere.
The reason for this is that I take the best parts
of past newsletters and put them together with other
information and create new products. I'm considering
putting up a page where I post the past 3-10 issues
or so, but I don't get that many requests for past
issues, so I'm not sure whether or not I'll do that...

And to answer your second question about what to do
when a woman blows you off, but you have to see her
again...

I want to answer your question FIRST with another
question:

WHO'S PROBLEM IS IT THAT SHE BLEW YOU OFF AND FLAKED?

Hm.

It all depends on your perspective.

When a woman flakes out on me, I see it as a HUGE
mistake that SHE made.

So if/when I see her again, I shake my head in disappointment
and say "Well you sure missed out on a good time".

And then regardless of what she says (unless her mom
died or she lost a leg in a car accident) I just give
her the "You're a flaky woman with no integrity" disappointed
look and walk away.

Again I ask you: WHO'S PROBLEM IS IT?

Do you really want to go out with a woman who is flaky?

Don't let it bother you. Just move on. Many women
are flakes.



***QUESTION***

Dave i just have to say that your CD Audio Series
kicks some major ASS!! there IS a god, and in this
case it's you man! i haven't EVER gotten so much out
of any help program such as this one. i absolutely
love it and anyone who purchases it will NEVER want
their money back! however, i have a question concerning
gift ideas for those involved in relationships. i am
desperate for gift ideas for my girlfriend that i've
been dating for 7 months now. of course, there are
also other times that couples should exchange gifts:
birthdays, valentine's day, and the BIG ONE... the
one year anniversary! i desperately need help with
these as well. what have u gotten your long-term girlfriends
for Christmas? their birthday? on valentine's day?
the one year anniversary? i'm the type of guy who
just HATES to spend a ton of money but i want to make
everything perfect for this girl because we love each
other so any ideas on gifts would be greatly appreciated.
thanks a million and keep up the good work!

-R.


>>>MY COMMENTS:

OK, as I have to mention EVERY time I answer a "relationship"
type question, I DON'T USUALLY DO THIS.

But you can be my monthly exception...

The reason I like your question is because it calls
up another BIGGER ISSUE... and that issue is when
and if it becomes appropriate to start doing all the
things that I try to get guys NOT to do in the beginning
with women (take them out, buy them gifts, give them
flowers, etc.).

As it turns out, most men that I know (and most men
that I meet and talk to who order my eBook and other
products) really WANT TO BE GENEROUS.

In other words, I think that deep down, most of us
guys really want to treat women VERY WELL.

We WANT to do nice, thoughtful things for a special
woman, and have her do nice, thoughtful things in
return.

Amen?

The problem comes when we go overboard and start using
gifts and favors TOO MUCH, and start communicating
to the woman that WE ARE OWNED BY HER.

If you're going to do wonderful things for a woman
that you care about, make sure that you do things
that MAKE AN IMPACT. And make sure that they AREN'T
PREDICTABLE.

If you want to give her a nice gift that doesn't cost
a lot of money, cook her a meal, then give her a massage,
and finally wrap up with feeding her fruit in bed...
etc.

Women want things that communicate THOUGHTFULNESS.
Not that they don't enjoy diamonds... lol. But if
you do something that says "I was thinking about you,
and I wanted you to have a great experience" it will
make FAR more of an impact than an expensive gift
that wasn't chosen with care.

But as I mentioned, don't OVERDO the gifts and favors...
don't ever become PREDICTABLE.

And, interestingly enough, this can be a great test
to see how a woman can handle extra-nice treatment.
If she starts acting overly demanding and spoiled
after you give her a gift of thoughtful experience,
then you might have a damaged woman on your hands.
Pay attention.

OK, that's it for my non-relationship relationship
ideas.



***QUESTION***

Before you hand me my award for wussiness, know
I wasn't always this way. In fact, I used to date
several girls at a time, who were supposed to be prude,
and were religious, and managed to get them obsessed
with me. My problem is that my ex spent 1.5 years
wussifying me. I'm trying to break out of it, but
I have so much free time, and so few friends. I started
going to the gym, and taking guitar lessons, but I
don't know what else to do! Every time I get a girl
interested, I panic. I'm taking a girl out to lunch
monday before our Accounting final. She is actually
a good example. Every time I showed interest in her
she got annoyed. I blew her off a few days ago when
she walked with me and my friend, wednesday she was
all over me. When I asked her to lunch she already
started to seem to lose interest. What do I do? How
do I get her to like me in a way that's not very noticeable?
What should I do on monday?

JC
Beverly Hills, CA


>>>MY COMMENTS:

Yea, well I'm still going to hand you the Big Wuss
award for this week, man.

What did I hear you say?

That your ex spent 1.5 years wussifying YOU?

No no noooooo...

IT WAS YOU that spent 1.5 years HAPPILY BEING TRAINED
AS A WORLD CLASS WUSSY.

You you you did it!

Now that we're back to reality, and accepting responsibility
for our own behavior, let's talk about what to do
about it.

What the hell are you doing "asking a woman to lunch"?

Haven't you been paying attention to anything I say?

lol... no, obviously not.

When you "ask a woman out on a date", you're basically
saying "Hi, I'm interested in you in a romantic way,
and I'd like to buy you some food so you'll think
of me as a wonderful provider, and then maybe we can
go out on some more dates that I'll pay for and then
get into a relationship... if I'm lucky and you'll
accept me".

Duh.

Instead of asking a woman out to lunch, tell her "Hey,
I'm going to get a cup of tea. Come along and entertain
me. And I don't mean with that usual boring stuff
that you talk about."

It sounds to me like you're probably LEANING into
women and putting STRANGE EMOTIONAL PRESSURE on them
in a very subtle way when you're "asking them out".

Stop that!

Lean back, and use what you're learning here from
me.

It doesn't sound to me like you've listened to my
Advanced Dating Techniques program.

I absolutely guarantee that this material will save
you a TON of time and a lot of frustrating experiences.

Hell, the money you'll save in DATES alone will more
than pay for it. Go to:

http://www.DoubleYourDatingAdvice.com/e/AdvancedSeries/

....immediately. Your Inner Wuss needs to be evicted!



***QUESTION***


Dave, ive been receiving your newsletters for sometime
now and have to say a lot of the stuff I read is very
useful. Now you need to help me please !!! Im having
real trouble with the whole (spur of the moment) thing.
By the time I think of a good thing to say in that
particular situation, the moments passed. Here come
the examples. About a week ago I was at a club which
was quite packed, now im just standing there when I
feel someone grab me round the waist, I turn around
to see a stunning brunette standing behind me smiling,
and what did I say to her, absolutely nothing !!!!
Now this is the one im really kicking myself about.

Yesterday I went my barbers only to see that a new
girl had started. Stunning blond about 17, you know
the type. Anyway, first I caught here looking at me
more than a fiew times, then we exchanged a fiew smiles.
There was quite a long wait to be seen, then the next
thing I know she brings me a coffee with a sexy smile,
non of the other 10 lads who were in there waiting
get one and they all looked quite surprised. I kept
on thinking to myself, "im gonna ask her out in a
minute" the next thing I know ive been done and walking
out having not said a word.

I guess your now gonna tell me I need a good hard
slap and my head seeing to .... lol But what I need
to know is, is it to late to phone up and ask her
out, and if I did could I use any of the things that
happened, to my advantage using the C&F routine ???

Thanks in advance, keep up the good work !!!
P
uk


>>>MY COMMENTS:

I have to be honest with you.

You are a dork.

But the good news is that you're not alone. I have
been in the situations you just mentioned a bazillion
times in my past, and I missed probably hundreds of
opportunities.

So this dork virus that you have isn't terminal.

Here's exactly what to do next time these things
happen:

Say "Hey, what's your name?"

Then, after they give it to you, say "Do you have
email?"

....and if the answer is "Yes", then give her a pen
and have her write it down!

It's that easy.

But will you do yourself a big, huge favor? Go to
the link that I just mentioned to Mr. Wussy Award
in the previous Q&A and get one of those for yourself.
I can't stress enough how important it is to understand
the material in that program. Really.



***QUESTION***

So I've tested it, and it works like I wouldn't have
believed. My ex-girlfriend that I'm back with again
can't do much about it...recently, she said with a
real smile: "You made fun of me from day one!" with
kind of a hint! hint! attitude of "and please do more
of that". If a woman wants to tell you she's really
into you, she'll normally say ANYTHING but "I really
like you" or so. More like "You're so funny" or "You're
so nasty", all with a smile. Almost always something
in the "You're so..." category.

Then there's something else I've noticed...

When you talked about how mothers raise boys to be
wussies, I gave the "why" a little thought...ever
said something fresh or wisecrackish to mom? Generally,
you unleash the fire of the dragon about how you'd
better never, ever do that again.

How come mothers (and teachers, for that matter) respond
so negatively when their sons behave C&F when other
girls love it? Well...C&F is disarming and hits women
in a spot where they can feel their power over you
diminish to zero. And no mother wants a kid who subtly
communicates "I don't give a damn about what you think
of me" and such, let alone have a kid who has power
over her. No way! As long as he's the wussy (and not
the other way round!), we can play happy family.

Greetings,
LM from Liechtenstein


>>>MY COMMENTS:

STOP RIGHT NOW AND REREAD THE ABOVE!

NOW READ IT ONE MORE TIME.

OK, this is good stuff.

Many of us were raised by mom to be nice, sweet, kind,
respectful and ASS KISSING to women.

What does this get us?

I don't need to answer that question, because you
know as well as I do what it gets us.

Be nice to mom, but don't treat a woman that you're
interested in like you treat her!



***QUESTION***

Hi David,

I've read your book, and decided to test the ideas
last weekend. I went to a bar with a friend, and pretty
soon we were in the company of three women, so I started
being cocky and funny and busting their balls. At
first it seemed they liked it, but as the night progressed,
they started to say 'you are too much' or, when another
girl came up to us and I advanced to use your tactics
on her, they told her 'watch out'. One girl even called
me annoying (never happened to me before). Only one
of them, who had a bad girl look, seemed to toally
enjoy what I was doing, but on the other hand I didn't
get to talk much to her because first I busted her balls,
and when she wanted to smoke, I ordered her to move
to the opposite end of the table. She gave me a hug
later.

So my conclusion is that being coicky and funny nonstop
100% of the time is overkill. I guess I need to follow
some kind of normal conversation, sometimes spicing
it up with cocky and funny remarks. Whatdayathink?
Thank you,

Nick P.
Tallahassee, FL


>>>MY COMMENTS:

Oh, the comedy of it all.

So you went out ONCE, and you talked to a total of
FOUR women... and got some pretty positive overall
results...and you're questioning the entire process.

I'll tell you what.

Go out 10 times, and talk to 10 women each time you
go out. Do this over the next 2-4 weeks, and then
report back at the end.

You can't go out ONCE and then know all there is to
know about how women will respond to Cocky & Funny.

You have to practice. You have to get used to it.
You have to talk to a bunch of women to see how they
all respond differently.

This stuff isn't magic, but it often works almost
as well.

And what were you doing "in the company of three women"
for long enough that the night "progressed"?

Why didn't you just ask all of them for their emails
and numbers when you first met them... and then moved
on to the next group?

If your answer is "well, I wanted to take one of them
home with me that night" that's OK, but I recommend
that if you're not skilled enough to do that on a
predictable basis that you GET THE DIGITS AND MOVE
ON... you'll have better overall success that way.



***QUESTION***

David,

Your ebook completely changed the way I have always
believed how a man should act when approaching women
in order to get her attracted. I used to try so hard
to treat women nicely but at the end I turned myself
into a big wuss and ended up going nowhere. Sometimes,
even now, I am still wondering why the C&F stuff attracts
women because I feel like somehow it's just simply
another way of being arrogant except that it's a little
more subtle. I guess it's just like what you said,
things don't always make sense. As long as it works
and gets the result, who cares whether it makes sense
or not?

The reason why I am writing you today is because I
have two questions that I would like to ask and any
advice would be appreciated. The SECOND QUESTION maybe
sensitive to some of the readers out there and therefore
you may just want to respond privately.

1) Through my experience, I have realized that once
a woman has categorized me into the "no" group, it's
impossible to get out of it. Basically I mean the first
impression is EXTREMELY important. If I can't show her
my C&F side in the beginning and once I am considered
a provider but not a lover, there is NO WAY OUT. I
have found that getting a second chance to redeem
myself extremely difficult. Is there a way to change
a woman's mind if this is the case?

2) I came from the Far East and I have been living
in the U.S. for over 10 years. I noticed that women
in this country would date their own men, Hispanics,
Europeans and those from the Middle East. However,
I rarely, I mean really rarely see an Asian guy dating
an American woman over the last so many years. I thought
a lot about it and think that this is because many
of these people fall into the "Lover" groups you mentioned
in one of your books - the Adventurers, Seducers,
Artists and Bad Boys.

Meanwhile, my believe is that Asians are typically
considered nice guys which means providers. Our culture
has been traditionally emphasized on "keep the harmony,
don't be arrogant, give compliments, don't rock the
boat, etc." and therefore I feel that many us may
find the C&F idea difficult to follow due to what
we have been taught.

Let's just say that we get rid of this problem and
finally learn how to be C&F, the problem is now how
to convince a woman not to stereotype me as a provider
before I even open my mouth and have a chance to prove
myself. I fear that most of the women out there automatically
put me into the "no" or provider category as soon
as they see me.

Dave, TX


>>>MY COMMENTS:

OK, to answer your first question...

I get a TON of email from guys who are looking for
the answer to the magic question "How do I get a woman
who I've convinced not to like me to give me a second
chance?"

The answer is: DON'T. JUST MOVE ON.

It's not worth the time, effort, and energy.

The best thing you can do is stop calling her, start
dating other women, and if you can, make sure she
finds out that you've moved on.

Get one with your life. And, ironically, that will
give you the best chances of her feeling attracted
to you again.

To answer your second point...

I have friends of all races, colors, sizes, ages,
etc. and I've found that looks are SECONDARY.

All other things being equal, a six-foot three guy
who is 21 years old, a multi-millionaire, drives a
Ferrari, and is famous will have an easier time meeting
women...

But I have one friend who is about 5'4" tall, ASIAN,
and has an average income who is UNREAL when it comes
to meeting women. He's always surrounded by a group
of hot young women who love him.

Why? Because he GETS IT!

And I believe that you can to, no matter what your
looks, age, race, etc.



***QUESTION***

So far I've read a lot of good advice on how to handle
some of the most common situations with women. But
one thing still remains a mystery for me: I have the
most trouble initiating a conversation and namely
one that will lead to getting her number or setting
up a date etc. If i see a woman walking down the hall
of my college or maybe even at the store, how do I
approach her and start a conversation without seeming
like just another "jerk" guy who is trying to get her
into bed. I would like to meet women and have them
be actually attracted to me not just have encounters.
I never know what to say, I mean sure I could introduce
myself but then what? And also once the conversation
has started, when is a good time to ask for a number?
How much conversation is a good amount or what type
of "level" should a conversation reach so that she will
feel comfortable about giving her number out? Generally
I like having friends introduce me to someone because
it gives me a good starting point and we both have
something in common to talk about: a mutual friend.
And once it gets rolling I have no problems, even though
I am not the best looking guy. As you said in your
last letter even regular guys benefit from this and
its true I am average at about everything but I have
my share of women. Initiating conversations with women
I dont know or any of my friends know is the toughest
for me. Any advice would be greatly appreciated. Thanks
and keep up the good work!

JS
Chicago, IL


>>>MY COMMENTS:

Good question.

This is a question that is top-of-mind for just about
every single adult male on the planet, by the way.

So first I have to pick apart the WAY you asked the
question.

Then I'll give you some ideas...

I noticed that you wrote:

"...how do I approach her and start a conversation
without seeming like just another "jerk" guy who is
trying to get her into bed..."

Do you think that most women are approached a lot
in the hall or at stores by "jerk guys who are trying
to get them into bed"?

And it also sounds to me like you have the concepts
of "jerk" and "wanting to get her into bed" linked
together in your mind.

In my experience, a woman won't think of you as a
"jerk" unless either:

1. She's dating you, you're abusive, and she can't
figure out why she can't bring herself to break up
with you.

2. You're the kind of guy that OBVIOUSLY has no game
at all whatsoever, but you're trying to talk to her
in a sexually suggestive way.

Are you with me here?

Women don't think of regular guys who stop them in
the hall or at the bookstore as "jerks" automatically.

And this is ESPECIALLY true if you're interesting,
charming, and comfortable with yourself.

You feel me?

So the first thing you need to do is STOP USING YOUR
WONDERFUL CREATIVE IMAGINATION TO LIMIT YOURSELF!

I know MANY guys that approach woman all the time...
in the hall, in the store, at clubs, on the internet,
and every other place on the planet... and I've heard
of VERY, VERY few instances where something bad came
of it.

And, in fact, the worst I've EVER heard of is having
a drink thrown in your face or a slap.

I've never heard of:

1. Permanent bodily injury.
2. Death.
3. Irreparable damage to self esteem.

(Although I'm sure that some dumb-ass somewhere on
the planet has figured out a way to have one of these
things happen to him as a result of approaching a
woman...)

The point is that if you start a conversation with
a woman, IT'S GOING TO BE OK.

And if you do it in an interesting, charming way there's
a VERY good chance that a woman will give you her
name and email/number.

And if you DON'T start talking to her, then the chances
are very close to ZERO that you'll get it.

Here, try this:

Next time you walk by a girl in the hall, look her
right in the eye and give her a slight smile.

Then say "Hey, can I ask you a question?"

When she stops and says "Sure", say:

"Are you single?"

If she asks "Why?" say:

"Well, I know someone who I think would REALLY find
you attractive. He's nice, funny, interesting... and
I think you might like him. (smile in a knowing way
as you say all of this, hinting that you might be talking
about yourself)"

Then ask "Do you have email?"

If she asks if you're talking about yourself, just
look at her and say "Maybe".

Get her email, say "I'll have him email you", and
walk away.

This is a fun way to start a conversation, and the
direct "Are you single?" question really throws women
off balance for a moment.

There are an unlimited number of ways to start conversations
with women, and I recommend that you check out some
of my products for more great info.



***QUESTION***


Hey Dave,

I just have one simple question for you. Since women
are not attracted to wussies...why the hell do our
mothers raise us to act this way and tell us that this
is what girls want in a man?

MCH

Detroit, MI


>>>MY COMMENTS:

Well, as we discussed in an earlier Q&A, your mom
wasn't ATTRACTED to you, dude.

At least I hope not.

Whatever.

LISTEN: Your mom probably can't even REMEMBER what
it's like to feel a GUT LEVEL ATTRACTION for a man,
and even if she CAN remember it, she's not going to
be able to EXPLAIN TO YOU HOW TO DO IT.

Moms have experience.

They know that guys who arouse sexual passions in
a woman are usually BAD NEWS, and they don't want
you to turn out that way.

Moms universally give HORRIBLE advice to sons on
how to make women feel ATTRACTION for them.

I could go on, but I think you get my point.



***SUCCESS STORY***

Hey Dave, *bowing "We're Not WORTHY !! * :-)

I have always had a good funny streak, but was always
Mr. Chivalry and then wondering why I had so many "friends"
but no "dates". They "say" thats what they "want",
but now I know better!! Plus I was always down on
myself because I have a hereditary skin condition
that sometimes flares and looks really bad. (but I
have since found out, using this material, they really
don't care once they find out it isn't contagious !!
:-) ). Been getting your newsletters for a couple months
now. I don't know which one of my buddies signed me
up for them, but if I ever find out, Ill buy him a
round!! They must have known this was EXACTLY what
I NEEDED!! :-) Mucho Grassyass to both You and whoever
it was that signed me up!! I have been putting to good
use what info comes out of the newsletters, and I've
gone from sitting at home on Friday and Saturday nights
to forgetting that I had 2 or 3 lined up on the same
night and having to cancel one or more. Ooops !
I'm just not used to having to "schedule" women :-)

I thought I would write in on how knowing how to "recognize"
BEING A WUSS does have its advantages !!

A few weeks ago I started dating this one gal - a
6, maybe 7, but an 8 personality. She started to get
all clingy and calling all the time, but I don't have
time to sit on the phone with non-customers (not getting
paid) all day. She was starting to get annoying. But
I don't have a mean bone in my body, enough to tell
her to scram.

I had a slow week coming up, I remembered everything
from the newsletters, and decided to use it OPPOSITE
of the intended purpose. I started calling HER all
the time, stopping by her work bringing her lunch,
would call and ask if I could come over in the evenings,
etc. When we did go out, I would purposely act like
I didn't care where we went, and made her decide.

Basically, to quote words of THE master, "THE ULTIMATE
WUSS BAG" !! I mean, I poured it on worse than before
I started getting the newsletters, because I NOW KNEW
what to do and HOW to do it!

Well, Dave (and anyone else reading), it worked like
a charm!! She started saying how different we were
and that maybe I should date other women as well.
When I heard that line, I knew I was on my way to
FREEDOM!! :-) Another day or so of it, to make sure
it "took hold", and haven't talked to her since. And
I'm betting she is not upset in the least.

Now I'm back to my same old problem though: I have
3 women - maybe a 4th (an ex GF from a few months
ago, who basically dumped me cuz I was a wus, has
started calling again...roflmao) lined up for this
Saturday. But as the old adage goes - "Better to have
too much than not enough", right? :-) (I think Ill
cancel the ex's, just to show her what "she got rid
of"..lol )

I do think I need to invest in a PDA, though, before
I get your CD's/DVD's and REALLY get myself into serious
trouble :-)


Thanks for all the great stuff!
KTF
Austin, TX

P.S. I told my one buddy your line "Give her the gift
of missing you", and Im pretty sure he has now signed
up and may be getting your book soon! :-)
Cheers!


>>>MY COMMENTS:

I CAN'T BELIEVE IT!

My friends and I make jokes about doing this all the
time... but you actually did it!

This is totally out of control.

Of course, as soon as you started acting like a total
Wussy, she stopped liking you.

What else would she do?

lol... this great stuff. Thanks for the letter.



***QUESTION***

Sup Dave..

I've been getting your newsletter for a couple of
months now, and I must admit the material is 100 proof.
I've always been pretty decent with women, but never
consistent. It wasn't till I started reading your
stuff, that I realized there's a formula to this.

OK, quick question. Thanks to your material, I've
stepped up my game and hooked up with a 9.5 (physically)...
who actually "gets it". I mean this girl can go toe
to toe with the best at c&f...and this makes for an
unbelievable connection. I almost lost her several
times, due to that wuss urge...but thanks to your
material I've always recovered and managed to stay
pretty much in control of things. My question is..now
that things are going good, how do I get her to show
more initiative. She's willing to do pretty much anything
I suggest, but geting her to initiate plans is a rarety.
Same goes with physical contact, she's down for whatever..
but I'm always the one to get it started. Don't get
me wrong, by no means am I overwhelming her with date
proposals, or affection...but I'm at a point where
I want her to "stroke my ego" a little by making the
first move, and making a brother feel desired. I'm
sure plenty of readers out there can relate (hopefully
I'm not the only one). I'm not asking for a magic word
or anything, but there has to be some solution here..
this girl has definitely got long term potential (I
know, not your area)..but this nonchalant thing is working
my last nerves. An answer to this question would take
my game to the next level. What say you??

N. Roms
Brooklyn, NY


>>>MY COMMENTS:

Well, if things are going so well, then who cares
about "her showing initiative"?

It's attractive to women when a man leads, so if
it's working for you, then keep it up.

Just don't overdo it!

Lean back, and give her space in between.

Remember, if she's a "9.5", then she gets offers ALL
THE TIME from men, and she is completely used to the
idea of men offering her things, calling her, etc.

It might just be that her model of the world revolves
around this idea.

Just keep doing what works!



***QUESTION***

David-

Soon after I began receiving your mailbags (6 months
ago) I purchased your ebook. I was inspired to buy
it after having success with the tips in the mailbags.
You have absolutely changed the way I view women and
dating. I was completely blown away by the success
I had after integrating your theories about the concept
of attraction into my lifestyle. I used to be nervous
and timid (a wuss bag) around women, but with your
help I have learned to interact with women on a level
that I never thought possible. I have found that when
I interact with women in this way (C/F, confident, etc.),
they go through a few stages: First, THEY are the
ones who become nervous, etc., as if this is something
that they have NEVER experienced before. After this
first "shock" stage, they become VERY intrigued. Naturally
following this, attraction sets in. From here, I decide
whether or not I would like to intensify the attraction
(is this a woman I would like to date, or is she just
good practice?). If I decide that yes, I am interested
in this woman, I lead them into "stage three", wherein
I continue to use your techniques and they continue to
feel attraction for me. Using this formula, I attracted
a woman that I decided was worth dating. We are now
in a relationship, and I am very much into her (she is
emotionally stable, always honest with me, and not to
mention stunningly beautiful) but I have a couple problems.
Often times, she gives me signals that she does not
feel secure in the relationship, as if I am about to
drop her at any moment for another girl. Perhaps this
is because I don't at all hang on her, and I talk about
other women. Although I do these things, part of me
wants to tell her that I love her and I absolutely
do not want out olf the relationship. How can I relay
this to her without

A) looking like a wussie, or
B) giving her power in the relationship?

Also, should I continue to talk about other women
around her, which makes her jealous, or am I being
manipulative? I have found this to be very effective,
but I do not always feel good about it. I realize
that you do not often talk about relationships, but
any insights you have would be very much appreciated.
You truly are a pioneer in this field.

-T, minnesota


>>>MY COMMENTS:

OK, I'm going to address this one because it's also
relevant to guys who have only gone out with a woman
a few times and the woman is acting this way (insecure,
etc.).

A few observations:

1. INSECURITY is a problem that SHE ALREADY HAS. It
just happens that your behaviors are allowing you
to see it sooner than most guys would.

2. It's ALMOST ALWAYS good when the woman you're dating
knows that other women are attracted to you.

3. You should not change your behavior to suit a woman.
In other words, if it's natural for you to talk to
women, then talk to them. If you're ONLY doing it
to make her jealous, then this is probably an insecure
behavior on YOUR part.

I've personally found that if I start to tell a woman
"Oh, baby, you're the only one for me and I want to
be with you forever and ever, and you should feel
secure in the relationship no matter what" that the
only thing it accomplishes is her seeing me as a Wuss
Bag.

If she isn't secure in herself, then she's not going
to be secure in the relationship... and there's probably
not much you can do about that except hope that she
grows out of it.

I think that most of us guys KNOW where the line between
"reassuring the woman we love that we're in this for
the long term" and "giving up our power" is.

Just don't cross the line.



***COMMENT***

Dave,

I am in the process of purchasing your book but I
can tell you before hand that this stuff works. I'm
buying because I haven't been as successful as I would
like. I'll give you two quick examples attesting that
your system works. The 1st is happened in a jazz club
I would frequent when I lived in Ft. Lauderdale, FL.
I started talking to a girl at the bar & was my usual
C&F self. I was giving her a real rash of s..t. & she
was returning it. After about an hour, because I felt
I was being too tough on her I said, "Let's start over.
Hi. My name is ..... What's yours". I knew I had made
a mistake when she looked at me strange & said, "And
I was just getting to like you". Then mumbled something
about how she was ready to cook me dinner. I ended
up flunking the test. The second time was with a girl
that worked in my off. I worked days, her on the night
shift. The boss told me how great looking she was so
I decided to stay late one night & find out. He was
right. She was gorgeous with a awesome bod. However,
she came in one night wearing a huge pear shaped diamond
on her wedding ring finger so I assumed that meant,
"I'm taken". The next night, no ring, & blouse unbuttoned
more than I expected giving me a wonderful sight. She
finally agreed to see an outdoor jazz concert & I was
my usual sarcastic self. On the 3rd date she told me
she said how she hated me the 1st time we dated because
I was so sarcastic but the more we dated the more she
liked me but then said, "but I'm not ready to go to
bed". I said, "Have I been pressuring you"? She said,
"No. You're different & besides that , you make me
laugh". Problem, I thought my position was secure & I
turned into Mr. Wus. & lost out. This is a girl I never
would have asked out normally because she was so good
looking & sexy. We're not kids either. I was 49, her 42.
It took me years to see what I have been doing wrong,
& no matter what women say, they don't want a "NICE"
guy. Now with your help I will be able to improve my
strategy.

Thanks
R. C. Houston, TX


>>>MY COMMENTS:

Oh, good choice getting my book.

I'll tell you, women LOVE it when you're challenging,
funny, and charming... and they don't quite know what's
happening.

When you do the old "I just want to tell you seriously
that all this Cocky & Funny stuff is just play and
I actually like you and want to take you out" thing,
you INSTANTLY kill the sexual tension in the situation.

This is another way of communicating, and you can't
all-of-a-sudden stop and say "Let's start over. Hi,
my name is Mr. Wussy, what's yours?"

Oh, and NEVER ask "Have I been pressuring you?" That
REALLY makes you sound like a world-class Girly Man.

When you find something that works, KEEP DOING IT!



***QUESTION***

David:

I just purchased your Advanced Series; I can't wait
to listen to it.

I recently saw firsthand what being cocky around a
woman can do. I was at a party with some people from
my work, and I started talking with this one girl
(Actually, she started talking to me). Anyway, she
was telling me how she had to wear a different dress
because the zipper got stuck on the other one. A
friend of mine who will say anything to anyone at
anytime then asked her "Why, because your ass is too
big?" Now, I would never think of saying such a thing,
and she seemed a bit appalled at first, but guess
who she proceeded to talk to the rest of the night?
Oh, by the way, he also told her he liked "the dye
in her hair."

I have one question for you: I met a girl at a party
on a Halloween weekend. I made a joke about her costume,
she played along with it, then when I told her I was
leaving she voluntarily gave me her number. I called
her twice, but she didn't return my calls. In the
meantime, I was trying to set up a date with another
girl who promptly answered my calls, but let's just
say she looked a lot better at the club with the lights
down low. So now I want to call the hot one, but I
don't want to look stupid because I waited so long.
What do you think?

Thanks,
J
San Diego


>>>MY COMMENTS:

Ha!

I have to say, it takes game to look a woman right
in the eye and ask "Why, because your ass is too big?"
LOL!

I've done similar things, but you'd better make sure
that it's funny.

Not for the weak of heart!

And to answer your question about calling the cute
girl back.

Look, in the book "The Rules" (the one that teaches
women how to play games to get a man to marry them)
the authors recommend that women NOT call men, and
RARELY return men's calls.

So don't worry about it.

Some guys don't like to call women more than once
or twice, but I ask you this:

What is there to lose?

If you have to call her once a week for five weeks
until you get a hold of her, what have you wasted?

Five extra minutes dialing the phone?

So what?

Now, if you're feeling like a needy little puppy,
and you're calling her five times A DAY trying to
get a hold of her, that's a different story.

As long as you're getting on with your life, keeping
busy, and dating other women, then keep trying until
you reach her.

I'll personally keep calling a woman until either:

1. She tells me to stop calling her (which has never
happened)

2. I get too busy to care anymore (which happens all
the time)

3. I set up a meeting with her

You're getting this stuff down, so keep at it!